In our practice, many couples have had entrenched, ongoing disputes about managing and spending income and savings. They may have different values, risk thresholds, backgrounds when it comes to money, not to mention different earning histories and prospects. Which is to say, whether you are happily married or splitting up, money is often more delicate and brought a topic than sex or death. When divorcing, couples look to a future time when they will make financial decisions independent from the former spouse. That means, the spender may indulge and may take on a measure of debt that would be unthinkable to the saver.
A recent piece on NPR, “How to Keep Money From Messing up Your Marriage,” addresses a few ways in which married couples may negotiate budgets, savings and room for different habits or priorities. One suggestion, where there is some discretionary income, is for each to have a monthly sum to do with what he or she will–spend, save, donate–in any proportion. This may break the tense dynamic of scrutinizing/judging one another.
Here is a link to the piece: http://www.npr.org/2016/03/08/469239033/how-to-keep-money-from-messing-up-your-marriage?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20160308&utm_campaign=npr_email_a_friend&utm_term=storyshare