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Mediating during and post-divorce

Wednesday, January 25th, 2017

We recommend, when couples are exploring the best process for negotiating their divorce or separation that they begin with the least contentious and expensive process: mediation.  In other words, it is easier to “ramp-up” than to deescalate.  However, we have recently had the opportunity to mediate with a variety of couples who have been through protracted attorney intensive court battles.  Wary though they may be, to attempt sitting together and negotiate directly around issues of custody and child support, among others, some find it can be a welcome dynamic change.  To be sure, this is an adjustment, from a lawyer speaking on a client’s behalf to articulating one’s own perspective, in an autonomous process and listening to the other do so as well.  Step by step parties reestablish a means of communication and make small agreements.  These often lay the foundation for a measure of trust and cooperation going forward.  From time to time, we work with couples who are still in court, but wish to mediate discreet issues.  There is certainly a bit of whiplash involved –but the hope is that the face-to-face facilitated conversation leads the way toward settlement of other issues as well.

For those interested in the psychologists’ perspective on the affect of shared parenting in high conflict couples, see the attached.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201205/co-parenting-and-high-conflict

For those who wish to understand mediation in general, see the attached.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/j-richard-kulerski/what-most-people-dont-kno_b_1220249.html

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“Thank you both for all your help and hard work. You made a difficult process bearable. Thank you both for listening to me, understanding and then telling me what I needed to hear and know.”

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“Ellie and Abby were able to help resolve a conflict that had seemed irreconcilable after months of efforts by other professionals. Their deep empathy combined with legal expertise gave me the confidence I needed to withstand the most stressful challenge of my life. Their commitment to achieve optimal results went far above and beyond all my expectations.”

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–J.D., Queens, New York

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Suite 6-i
New York, NY 10011

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